Tag: Life and Faith

Yesterday was one of those rare days in which I got to spend the entire day with a friend doing whatever we chose to do. It wasn’t an earth shattering day, but it was a very good day. It was not earth shattering because we didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. It was good because I got to spend an entire day with my friend and that is a gift for me.

I discovered why this is recently, after reading “The 5 Love Languages of Single Adults.” My friends had determined earlier in the year that my love language must be quality time. They were right although it runs right up there with words of affirmation and touch. There are few things I enjoy more than spending time with friends. I would venture to guess that the only thing comparable these days is spending time with my nephews.

I think the whole quality time thing is the reason I began a tradition several years ago of going out for dinner with friends for my birthday. It is the reason one of my favorite days this year was my best friend’s birthday. Six of us met for breakfast, after which, we drove down to the museum district to see an exhibit. After the exhibit, we hit House of Pies for dinner and then went back to Pam’s apartment to watch a movie. I asked Amy if I could steal the idea for my next birthday.

I am grateful for time spent with friends. My favorite memories are snapshots of time spent with friends. I still smile when I think of boiled strawberries, sleepovers, Edgewood, vacationing in Rhode Island, spontaneous road trips, friday night games, long talks late at night, lunches and dinners.

I haven’t had much to say for a couple of weeks and what I have to say is not particularly profound, but it is part of living life and I’m in a sharing mood.

I am not one to get angry easily or often though I do confess that most of my anger is revealed when I am behind the wheel of my car. (Apparently it is quite common for my personality type to exhibit road rage, but this is beside the point.) Because I do not get angry easily or often, when I do, it tends to be difficult for me to calm down. Unfortunately, it also means that if you have angered me once, your very presence stirs up that anger again. One such customer walked in the store this evening only fifteen minutes before closing (this only added to the anger).

We were 35 minutes later than usual getting out of the store so my frustration level was still fairly high and it occurs to me that I still have to go home and finish planning out my Sunday School lesson for tomorrow. My dilemma? How do I honestly prepare a Sunday School lesson when I’m still heated? I could claim righteous indignation all I wanted, but the truth of the matter is that whether I was in the right or not, wasn’t the point. As I drove home, God reminded me to “leave room for His wrath.” It’s not up to me to pass judgment in my anger especially when there is much in my life that could be judged. Ouch.

Interestingly enough, I am finishing teaching the book of James tomorrow which is all about becoming mature. Yeah. I still have much to learn. I am so grateful though that God doesn’t leave me where I am. He keeps working on me. I didn’t think anger was that big a deal for me because I am not quick to anger. On the other hand, if my anger is not truly righteous, then it is an issue. The fact that it takes me time to calm down and the thoughts that go through my head mean it is an issue.

I’m learning more each day. By the way, (excuse me while I whine for a second) did I mention the fact that I arrived home and my A/C does not seem to be working? I realize it is October, but it’s also Houston and it’s 84 degrees inside my apartment. I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight…so why not blog? On the other hand, maybe I should be thankful that I usually have A/C.

A young man came in the store this afternoon and asked if he could use the phone to call his grandmother in Sealy. He had gotten stranded and needed her to come pick him up. I told him he could certainly use the phone, but I was not prepared for the conversation I overheard which included some obscenities. Initially, I was shocked and angry. Then God convicted me. It didn’t take long to realize that he was not a Christian. What right do I have to expect him to live by my standards as a believer when he is not one. So rather than be angry, I decided that I should pray for him and his little boy who was with him. I prayed for them and prayed that we, in the store, would be open to opportunities that might arise to minister to him while he was in the store waiting. He’d probably never been in a Christian bookstore before. Just maybe strangers showing kindness to him could make a difference.

James 1:19 says everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. This is definitely something I needed to learn today. If you are reading this, say a prayer for Michael and his son. I may never see him again, but God knows and loves Him and wants him to know the truth.

In the middle of girls night tonight, my brother called. Normally, I try not to answer the phone when I’m with other people, but it was my brother. I’m so glad I answered.

He called because Zachary, one of my nephews was asking about me. Zachary got on the phone and told me about his visit with his sister and told me “I love you.” I don’t quite speak three year old yet, (I’m learning) so Sean translated for me. I did, however, get “I love you.” If you could have seen my face… Then Daniel got on and said “I love you” in his own way. I just about started crying. Those are the two most precious boys in the entire world. I got off the phone wishing I had a job closer to them so I could see them more often and watch them grow. Don’t tell, them, but they already have me wrapped around their little fingers.

Tonight was girl’s night. I hosted at my apartment in celebration of having gotten at least the living and dining areas box free.

Amy decided that we needed brownies since it was her cheat night from her diet. Here’s the big shocker. I have been in my apartment two months now and have never used my stove (The microwave is my friend). Therefore, we christened my stove. I say we…Amy did. Thus, it was she who discovered that my stove had something oddly wrong. Normally, one would expect to see the temperature knob next to the bake knob. Somehow, the temperature knob had been switched with the right front burner knob. This makes it difficult to determine oven temperature unless one has an oven thermometer. Since it is already obvious how often I cook, you already know I don’t have one of those. So we guessed…fifteen minutes later we had partly burnt brownies.

I don’t think I will live this one down. Amy, being the big (by one year) sister I never had delights in harassing me.

I’m learning a lot about self-control and restraint these days between trying not to spend money and attempting to be better about what I eat. I have a weakness though. I would love to say it was my only weakness, but I’d be lying. It is, however, one of my biggest weaknesses–pizza. I love pizza. I couldn’t tell you exactly why. I just know that I love it. The following story illustrates how much I love pizza.

Last night, I had just gotten off my dinner break from 5-6 and one of the sales associates that was closing with me asked if I wanted to order pizza with them. Now, I had just finished eating about 45 minutes prior to being asked. Naturally, one would think that I could say no. Alas, I always seem to have room for pizza. I should have said no, but I knew that when the pizza arrived and I smelled it, I would regret my decision. Therefore, I rationalized that even though I did not need the pizza, I should get it.

The moral of the story–you can probably bribe me with pizza.

Conviction and accountability are two words that blip rapidly on my radar these days.

Early this year, my friend Bonnie shared a plan she had to do a coffeehouse/concert to raise money for one of two organizations our Single Adult group is giving to this year for missions. She shared,

“The story behind this project is that about a year ago I was really convicted that I had been living too long in my little bubble and had lost sight of all of the needs around me. Basically, I needed to be living more sacrificially and give. For me, the money issue is one side of the coin and I’m making progress, but on the other side of the coin is my lack of availability and lack of discipline in giving of my skills and talents.”

It is interesting how the Holy Spirit works to convict. Bonnie’s obedience in following through on her conviction in turn led to my conviction. I am in similar financial circumstances in that I don’t have much to give. I also wasn’t sure how my particular talents might fit into the coffeehouse idea.

This past Sunday as our Single Adult Minister talked about “The Ark” and “One Verse”, and Bonnie’s coffeehouse, he encouraged us to think of other fun ways we could raise money for these two worthwhile organizations. My friend Jack, half jokingly said something about memorizing verses for One Verse. I mostly brushed it off, but my mind wandered briefly in Sunday School and I started thinking about the possibility of getting people to pledge money for me to memorize the book that we are sponsoring through One Verse. I believe this is my contribution. It is something that I can do that will also require something of me—namely discipline. It is also meaningful to me because the people group for whom we are doing this are a people group from Nigeria.

I’m still working on some of the logistics of this before sending out official pledge letters, but here are some of my thoughts and I’d appreciate feedback.

Book to Memorize: 1 Timothy

Deadline: I don’t know whether to make it October 5^th which is the same day as the coffeehouse but very soon, or to make it later in the year. I’ve thought about maybe giving people the risk/challenge for me of doubling their pledge for however far I am able to get by October 5^th

Pledge options: One time donation, by verse…

Payment: made to Tallowood (so that I’m not handling any of it)

This is my conviction. I am posting this now in part because I need help with logistics and in part because I need to accountability.

Today was one of those days. I won’t go into all the details, but it was one of those days that I just wanted to stay under the covers and hope the day would go away. Fortunately, I got a wake up call from my best friend. We didn’t talk long, but hearing her voice reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

Work turned into a blessing too. Not long after getting there, a customer asked for help. Her twenty-something son had a friend who is asking questions about Christ. She is willing to read a book, so he was asking for help both on what to get for her and what might help him answer some of her questions. I spent quite a bit of time in a couple of different sections showing them different books and looking at some that I was not as familiar with. They were so grateful for my help.

As I left, it occurred to me that what I got to do right there was ministry. These are the moments I really love what I’m doing right now. God reminded me again that there are opportunities for ministry all around me. I’m not going to get to be there when that young man talks to his friend and I don’t know what the result will be. God does though. Just maybe I spent some time helping someone that will have the opportunity to lead someone else to Christ. How cool is that?

I walked away from that and started putting bookmarks on a spinner. I was reading them as I was putting them up and let me tell you…God can speak through bookmarks. God still speaks. Sometimes, he speaks through bookmarks, sometimes through a friend. Sometimes he even speaks through your job. Most of the time, it’s not how or when we expect. Sometimes it’s not even what we expect or want to hear. It is ALWAYS what we need to hear. In this case, I think He was reminding me today that He IS still there and still has a plan for me and that He loves me. What more do I need?

Yesterday was one of those days God reminded me that I can be a minister wherever I may be. Right now that happens to be at a Christian Bookstore. A co-worker was dealing with tough questions. She had spent her lunch break helping a friend who was in need. It was difficult for her to return to work and focus on the task at hand. She kept asking “why do things have to be so hard?” This, in reference to her friend, for whom it seems everything is always difficult.

I had no words for her. I searched my mind grasping for something to offer her, but nothing felt right and it seemed one of those times when words were better left unsaid. It seemed better for her to voice her frustration than for me to try to fix things. One valuable lesson I learned after Mom’s death was that sometimes you have to give yourself permission to cry or vent. The hard part is learning to be okay with letting people see that when you are unable to retreat to the privacy of your own space.

I thought about her questions the rest of the day. They were questions I have voiced. I think they are questions we have all voiced at one time or another in our lives. If we haven’t asked on behalf of dear friends and family, we have at the very least asked about our own lives. The questions resound in my mind constantly these days on behalf of a dear friend for whom the last year has seemed a constant struggle. Like my co-worker yesterday, I wish I had the means financially to help her bear some of that burden.

I was thinking about this yesterday and it occurred to me that God has given me everything I need to best help her. If I had the means to help her financially, I could, but would she then trust me or God? This is not to say that the point of all this is for her to trust God. I don’t know the why of it? I am reminded of Job, who lamented his birth and cried out to God, essentially asking why? God never answered directly. Instead, when He speaks, He reminds Job of who He is.

4 “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding, 5 Who set its measurements? Since you know.
Or who stretched the line on it? 6 “On what were its bases sunk?
Or who laid its cornerstone, 7 When the morning stars sang together
And all the sons of God shouted for joy

Job 38:4-7 (NASB)

Job did not need to be told why his circumstances were so dire. He needed to be reminded of the Awesomeness of God.

If my friend needed financial help from me, it would be provided. What she does need from me is to be ever in prayer. It would be a mistake for me to wish that there were something more that I could do for her when this is the very best and first thing I should ever do for her.

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. 16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Heb 4:14-16 (NASB)

I’ve decided everyone should have and wear one pair of ripped up jeans in their lifetime. (I promise not to ever tell this to my nephews.) Seriously though, yesterday I donned a pair of ripped jeans (I’ll save the story behind the jeans for a later date) because I needed to wash my regular jeans. An interesting thing happened–I got a little bit of an attitude, like I could do anything. I admit to a little bit of a swagger as well. I showed up at work and they were shocked. They’d never seen me dressed in such a way. There is something in here about not judging a book by it’s cover, but I’ll save that for another day because it goes very well with the story behind the ripped jeans.

PS. I am definately NOT a mother. It never occurred to me to indicate that the rips in these jeans are in the front around the knees. Thanks Stephanie for pointing this out.