Quotes

One cannot change another person, though the temptation to try is always there. Change must come from within the self, for one’s own reasons. Differentiation in the other may be stimulated by one’s own efforts to differentiate a self, but the other cannot be encouraged, prodded, or advised in this respect. The impetus must come solely from within the self.

— Roberta M. Gilbert, Extraordinary Relationships

When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it.

— Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

When we get lazy and stop investigating the facts behind our opinions, we’re prone to taking on the views of whoever we like reading or listening to at the time.

— Jenny Brown, Growing Yourself Up: How to bring your best to all of life’s relationships

Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be.

— Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

We are often pursuing the renewal of our circumstances, but God is pursuing the renewal of our entire identity.

— David Lomas, D. R. Jacobsen, and Francis Chan, The Truest Thing about You: Identity, Desire, and Why It All Matters

Transformation always takes time, but time does not always bring transformation. Transformation into something greater takes a pilgrimage.

— Gary Barkalow, It’s Your Call: What Are You Doing Here?

I don’t think I’m really listening unless I’m willing to be changed by the other person.

— Alan Alda, Clear+Vivid with Alan Alda

Unless we get to know our neighbors beyond their labels, we cannot make the most of our spiritual conversations with them.

— Dale Fincher and Jonalyn Fincher, Coffee Shop Conversations: Making the Most of Spiritual Small Talk

Questions are your pickaxes. Good questions are what open people up, open new doors, and create opportunities.

— Tim Ferris

When our personalities are on autopilot they lull us into a half-sleeping state in which we find ourselves trapped in the same habitual, repetitious patterns of mindless reactivity we’ve been caught up in since childhood.

— Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile, The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery