One of Those Days

Some days I am more acutely aware of my status as a single. Last Tuesday was one of those days. I had to go to the doctor. I’m not one to mind going to the doctor and I happen to like mine. This particular visit had me very anxious though because of the symptoms I’d been having. It seemed the longer I waited, the more anxious I became and my mind went to the more tragic scenarios.

In the midst of this, I began to wonder what I would do if this were something serious. It was one of those moments when I wondered how I would deal with going home alone. It was one of those moments I wanted someone there with me. I’m not naive enough to think that even if I had a husband, that he would necessarily be able to be with me then, or that he would be home when I got home. I think the possibility of that would be reassuring though.

It was one of those times I felt very much alone because I also wished my mom was there. Not only will she never be there, but my Dad for the time being is also half way across the world.

The good news is that it was nothing serious. It was just one of those days. I will say that I came through on the other side grateful to God for what I do have. First of all, for the most part, my health (according to my doctor) is “boringly normal.” Secondly, I am eternally grateful to God for dear friends who are also currently walking the path of the single life and understand these days. I texted my best friend as I waited to get a chest X-Ray and knew that she was praying for me. Finally, I am ever thankful for my big brother. I don’t tell him nearly enough how thankful I am that we survived our childhood and teen years and became friends. He is always there when I need him and I know he would do anything for me.

That is the good news. The best news…God is still with me on those days. I just keep praying that He will help me in my unbelief.