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A little over a week ago, my best friend, Amy, got engaged. I knew it was coming for at least a couple of weeks and the task of keeping quiet was nearly impossible. On top of that, I was also asked to keep a secret from Randy (Amy’s boyfriend) that she was planning a surprise birthday party for him the same weekend. I would put this secrecy/sneakyness high on my list of accomplishments, at least for this year. How does one contain the excitement of knowing a moment like this is coming? I’m not sure I can answer this except that I think my tongue has teeth marks and my face is sore from fighting the biggest grin of my life. Needless to say, I told them both that they owe me big time. I suppose I should be grateful that I not only knew about the proposal, but got to be there for it. On the other hand, it is nice to have something to hold over their heads.

I do have to confess though that in spite of my excitement, I have been a little envious too. Our pastor concluded a sermon series on the seven deadly sins yesterday with a message on envy. Ouch! Fortunately, God had already been working with me on this. Otherwise, I’m sure I would have sunk down in my pew. I’m sure God would have gotten a kick out of this—as if I can hide from Him in a pew. Saturday night, I had a fantastic prayer time with God about this very thing. I have prayed so long for God to bring someone into my life and that He would lead and guide that man. While I will still pray for that, God showed me last night that maybe I need to pray for him to prepare my heart. Something to think about.

This week, I got another reminder that I have adjusted to life in the U.S. Wednesday morning about 6 AM, there was a loud pop and the electricity went out. My immediate expectation was that it would come back on in a couple of minutes. Only after it had been out for thirty minutes did I realize it was an actual outage that I probably needed to report.

Growing up, I never would have had an expectation of the electricity coming back on immediately. In fact, I would have been pleasantly surprised if it did. Most of the time, it was more of a hope that it would come back on before everything in the fridge and freezer spoiled. There was no point of calling anything in either. I got used to studying by candle light and sleeping in pitch black. To this day, I have trouble sleeping if there is the slightest hint of light.

Apparently the transformer close by tripped. The fact that there was a computer that could tell me this based only on my zip code is pretty impressive. They also told me it would be back online by 8 AM…and it was.

(for those reading this who are confused by the title of this blog, NEPA is the Nigerian Power Authority or as we liked to say Never Ever Power Again. I assume you can get the Pigeon English by context. If not, feel free to ask.)

I was reading my friend, Stephanie’s blog this afternoon and was reminded how time flies. The title of the post is A Letter to the 18 year old me on the 15th anniversary of my high school graduation. It is an interesting look back. I think my anniversary is June 8th. I can’t believe it’s been 15 years either.

Everything has changed and nothing has changed. Certainly, my life as I knew it then has changed. Some days, the fact that I grew up in another country feels like a distant memory. At the same time, it will always be very much a part of who I am and who I am becoming.

Friends have come and gone. I have been richly blessed by both those who were dear friends for a season as well as those who I still consider close though proximity prevents the same kind of friendship as before. I confess that as an 18 year old, I did not believe that I would ever have the depth of friendships that I had in Nigeria. I am grateful to have been wrong about that.

So what hasn’t changed? When I was eighteen, I thought there was some magic age where I would suddenly shift from being a kid to being an adult. I am still waiting. I think this is why Chris Sligh’s song “Potential” resonates with me. He writes about feeling like you are growing old, but never growing up. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and discussed it among friends who feel the same way. I have been told by older wiser friends that they too feel the same way. This is both comforting and disconcerting.

I don’t know what I would tell my 18 year old self. I do know that the verse I chose for my Senior Quote would be the same. I also think it is pertinent for this time in my life, but then that should not surprise me because God’s Word is living and active.

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:11-12

I have been entering the same alarm code every time I have closed the store since July of last year. Tonight, I drew a blank. I am embarrassed to say that I had to call the alarm company and ask for my code. It’s a very good thing that I am going out of town this weekend for a retreat. I apparently need some time to rest my brain.

Did I mention I’m going on a retreat this weekend? Yes, I did. I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to this weekend. A weekend at the beach and two of my best friends are going to be there too. This is a very good thing.

It’s been almost a month since my last posting. I can’t say that nothing has been happening. I just haven’t had much to say, certainly nothing of consequence that I don’t mind sharing with the world. I’m feeling a little like a caged rat…at least I think this must be what it must feel like. I have never actually been a caged rat (In case anyone was wondering).

I am restless, but have nowhere to go with my restlessness and everywhere I turn, God seems to be saying “Be still.” Everyone around me seems to be in constant motion. For them, life seems fluid. No doubt this is partly my perspective. It’s a little like being on a merry-go-round and watching everything around you spin. You feel sick to your stomach and want to get off, but can’t. I keep looking for a way off but every opportunity slips past.

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Lest you think life is misery, I assure you (and myself), it is not all bad. The highlight of the last month was going shopping for new clothes last Friday. I have lost about 30 lbs in the last 8 months and most of my clothes no longer fit. I am not much of a shopper generally, but last Friday, I found myself in the mood and was fortunate enough to have a friend willing to go with me and deal with my not so great mood. Turns out (maybe for the first time in my life) I found myself loving to shop. Of course it helps when you have a friend telling you how skinny you look.

I’d been intending to shop for a while. I had a gift card I needed to use and some birthday money from Dad. My goal was not only to get new clothes, but clothes that actually made me look good. For those who know me, this translates to fitted rather than boxy and loose. I am very pleased with what I ended up with, especially with the amount of money that actually came out of my pocket. My favorite piece was a fitted denim jacket with a mandarin collar and flowery embroidered detailing on the collar and cuffs. The only thing I still need is a good pair of jeans. One of these days, I’ll get pics of me to post.

Some weeks I have to go looking for my brain. It seems every now and then to take a vacation. This week was one of those weeks. To be fair, it’s just the last two days. They tell me this is a sign of old age. At this rate, I figure my brain will be on permanent vacation by the time I’m 50.

Yesterday, at work, one of the girls was very excited about some large gift bags that were just 9 cents. I told her they must be leftovers from Halloween. What I meant to say was Valentines. I proceeded to relay the story to my best friend and unintentionally made the same error. I must have some issues with Valentines.

Today, is the day I work at a church down in Sugar Land. I take my laptop with me so that I can access my graphics programs. I got all the way down to Sugar Land before realizing that I didn’t have my laptop with me. This, after being the most awake I’ve been on a Friday morning in weeks. Apparently I think better when I’m half asleep.

In any case, if you see an extra brain running around out there, it is probably mine. If you can catch it, please return it to me. I am lost without it.